Actually had a date. Disaster would be overplaying it. Disappointing would be the best description. Disappointing in that she just didn’t “light my fire” so to speak. But also disappointing because I didn’t sparkle myself.
We actually met at my first singles night. I didn’t really put too much weight on it as I’ve had so many phone numbers go nowhere that I don’t count them as much of a result really.
But anyway, we actually got as far as meeting for a coffee. On the various preceding SMSes I was witty, playful, cheeky and felt good about it all. But when I actually got to the coffee shop, I got complacent. I could have tried harder. I could have performed better. But I just got comfortable in myself. Which is good within itself, but, I hadn’t “made the sale” yet.
So it was pleasant enough and we parted with the usual pleasantries, but neither one of us has bothered to contact the other.
Part of me says I shouldn’t just give up. Maybe she’s interested but waiting for me to make the first move. But frankly, I don’t really want to. Not that I’m scared of rejection. Frankly, I would have rejected me. Partly, I’m not sure she’s the right one for me and don’t see the point in wasting the time. And partly, I just feel like I let myself down and don’t deserve another chance. I’m not sure I’m expressing that very well but I can’t really think how else to describe it.
Anyway….back to square one.